~Luke 18:7
The last two years of my life have taken me on quite a journey. Traveling paths laid out before me that just seemed impassable at times and marked with much heartbreak and sadness.
Yet while navigating those paths I found strength, courage and mercy. Not within myself, but outside of myself.
When everything was yanked out from under me, the Lord said to follow Him. He showed me that I had nothing else and He would not abandon me nor hurt me. Only He could truly set me free.
"In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free."
~Psalm 118:5
One night as I lay sobbing in my bed in the early morning hours, I picked up my bible and opened to the verse above. How I had cried out to the Lord for years in anguish, in emotional pain, in desperation. He had heard me.
Why did it take so long though?
My devotion this morning really spoke to this. The suffering is so real for so many people. Broken marriages, foreclosures, unemployment, and the list goes on.
"Why does God wait until the money is gone? Why does he wait until the sickness has lingered? Why does he choose to wait until the other side of the grave to answer the prayers for healing?
Though you hear nothing, he is speaking. Though you see nothing, he is acting. With God there are no accidents. Every incident is intended to bring us closer to him."
~excerpt from A Gentle Thunder
I don't know why it seems the Lord doesn't answer us, I don't know why He appears silent when we cry out to Him.
Or does He answer us? Does He speak to us?
When it was darkest and it seemed that all was lost, and I would never be able to go on, the Lord whispered, "wait on Me and trust."
I did.
I learned to wait for Him and to listen for Him. And an amazing thing happened...I heard Him and in His timing He worked in my life in ways I would never have imagined. Some of the ways He chose to work in my life were painful, certainly not seeming to be from the Lord. Why would He make me wait so long and then bring one trial after another?
Because I believe he knew how hot the fire needed to be for me to trust Him completely and to help refine me.
Today is full of good things compared to almost two years ago when the hardest journey of my life began. I am still being refined by the Lord though and continue to see trials in my life, but I will until the day I leave this earth.
In the meantime, I will continue to count my blessings and be grateful for what the Lord brings into my life.
#81 a warm cup of coffee to wake my sleepy self
#82 just enough money to pay the mortgage another month
#83 morning fog to signal a sunny day ahead
#84 warm towels fresh from the dryer
#85 God's provision just when needed
#86 a job that is perfect to work around my school
#87 my tattered bible which contains on its pages my walk with the Lord over the years
#88 love that crept in one day when I was trying hard to avoid it
#89 returning health to a child that has been sick a long time
#90 an opportunity to journal my thoughts and give thanks to our Lord
What are you grateful for today?
Blessings!
Amy
