A valuable lesson that I always tell people I learned a year ago, when my life turned upside down, was how to wait patiently on the Lord.
Now waiting has never been a strong suit of mine. I want it now and I want it when I want it. And being patient, well, perhaps not another strong suit of my mine either.
Yet, I ended up in a situation where it brought me to my knees and forced me to wait, and to wait patiently. There was nothing else to do.
God made it clear to me that He was directing this season of my life and I could either sit back and allow Him to lead, or I could make myself sick and stressed over grabbing onto the steering wheel so I could get there NOW, not later.
So, I decided that I would really see what it meant to wait patiently for the Lord. I read Psalm 40:1-3 over and over, and I prayed that He would help me to wait patiently and trust Him completely with my life.
Did it take the stress away? Not if I still tried to hold on, but when I let go and just really laid everything at His feet, yes, my load was definitely lighter and the stress was not so intense.
I would go back to the first verse I ever learned in the bible after becoming a believer: Matthew 11:28 - "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
This was the verse that actually led me into a relationship with the Lord over twelve years ago. Someone had spoke about this verse the day before at church and the next day in my despair, I picked up my dusty bible, and as my mind tried desperately to remember the verse, I opened my bible right to it. I prayed that day to God, on my knees, that if He were truly there, I wanted Him to give me rest. I was so heavily burdened and weary beyond belief at trying to understand, let alone make a marriage work, that would take me over a decade later to realize, was beyond my power.
So last night, I found myself lying prostrate before Him before crawling wearily between the covers, and I sobbingly cried to Him, telling Him of how I'm a failure, how scared I am and how tired, so very tired. I didn't have anymore words, so left it at that as I surprisingly, fell into a sound sleep.
Today as I forced myself up, only wanting to sleep, the weariness and burdens seemed to still be there, weighing heavily on my shoulders. The tears have threatened to come at any moment all morning long, and the fear, oh the fear, clouds my thinking and ability to move.
But I decided that I needed to take time for God, which I do not do as often these days. Oh, I talk to Him everyday, but I honestly do not give him my full attention. So after the coffee was poured, I sat down to read my devotional and my bible, and the devotion was on Trusting God. Hmmm. As I read through the devotion it became so obvious that God was speaking directly to me, especially as I read the final paragraphs:
"Sometimes, we experience times of frustration in our life. We believe we're on track, trusting God and ourselves, yet things don't work out. We have false starts and stops. The door refuses to swing wide open.
We may wonder if God has abandoned us, or doesn't care. We may not understand where we're going, or what our direction is.
Then one day we see: the reason we didn't get what we wanted was because God had something much better planned for us."~excerpt from The Language of Letting Go, Melody Beattie
I then opened to Psalm 40:1-3 and read:
"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord."And immediately afterward, came a barely audible knock at my front door. A woman in a soft yellow dress, speaking in a small, quiet voice, handed me a piece of paper about a free seminar on Drawing Closer to God. As I took the paper from her and she quickly explained about it, I smiled and thanked her before she turned to leave. Yes, she was a Jehovah Witness, which could be a whole 'nother post, but I know that God was using her to speak to me in a voice I could hear.
I have walked too far away from God. I have let the busyness and stress of life close in around me, blocking my way to Him, and in doing so, it is myself I realize that pulls on the garment of weariness and burdens, only to wear them throughout the day, as they become increasingly heavier and harder to bear. They were not still on my shoulders this morning as I staggered out of bed, I chose to pick them up and put them on, and in doing so, I create the day that will lie ahead of me, full of unhappiness, stress and worry.
Are you wearing your burdens and worries like a cloak? If so, perhaps it is time you and I slip them from our shoulders and hand the heavy, burdensome cloak to God. After all, He said He would carry them for us, because we are His children and He loves us so much that He would do anything for us.
May this weekend bring a lightness to your load and a joy into your heart as you allow God to carry the worries, hurts, sadness, burdens and any other baggage you have brought along.
Blessings!
Amy BTW, the devotion I read was for June 4th, which I thought was today. After I read it, I looked at the calendar and realized I had the wrong day! If I had known that it was really the 5th of June today, I would never had seen this devotion. ;)
