The tears have flowed freely today and at times pushed their way on through in the midst of trying to hold it all back.
The pain has been an overwhelming heaviness and try as I might to escape from it, to shake it off, or dismiss it, the heartache just grew heavier.
Have you ever realized a truth about something that you just do not want to accept? I suppose the heaviness and heartache of today is from the words spoken last night, words of forgiveness and reconciliation between a mother and son, but words that made me realize a real truth in my life.
The truth that makes me angry. The truth that makes me sad. The truth that causes a pain so deep that it becomes unbearable.
When people choose to twist truth around for their own gain, to make themselves look innocent and okay, never acknowledging or taking responsibility for their actions, they truly are only hurting themselves.
Yet it still makes me mad. It makes me mad to see the lies still being told, the truth still being skewed, and innocent people caught in the after math of it all.
Yet in the midst of it all today I try to be grateful for the good and real Truth in my life.
51. smell of rain in the clouds ready to burst forth
52. iced coffee on a warm, sunny day
53. walks and chats with a friend that always listens and truly cares
54. deep talks with sons who have turned into young men right before her eyes
55. asking forgiveness and offering apologies to ease the pain caused to another
56. sound of wind chimes gently swaying in the late evening breeze
57. God's voice as He whispers in my ear
58. gentle breezes through the open window at night cooling a tired body
59. ability to work and make money at home
60. sharing a Blizzard treat while sharing thoughts and dreams
What are you grateful for today?
Blessings!
Amy
2 comments:
Amy,
Your post struck a chord in my heart today. I so appreciate your honesty. It is sometimes difficult to write about the tough times, the times we struggle and allow the tears to flow and our hearts to be exposed to the raw pain that we feel. Yet in that pain, in that very moment, you take time to continue your count to 1,000 gifts. You chose to focus on the blessings that you have in your life.
I join you in gratitude not only for those wonderful things in our lives but for the heart ache to because it allows us to see our Abba Father as our comforter and our shepherd in very difficult times.
blessings
~a
Amy,
In all the years of pain you have walked through, and now this change in your life, I see a little of the old you returning. Not the "old man" as the Bible speaks of, but just the you that God created you to be. In you being able to be honest and walk this new path of healing in your life you will find that over time, the person God made you will start to return. I know I lost that person when I was in my terrible marriage. I forgot who it was that God made me. My understanding of who God wanted me to be, and what my personality was, was lost in a deep blinding fog of oppression. But after that fog was lifted and removed from my life, slowly over the years, God has led me back to finding who it is I trely am in Him! I am free to be the person that I am. As I read this post, I saw a little bit of that in your words. The Amy that God created you to be, walking the path of healing, honesty, and discovering the true you. Well enough rambling. Just hoping you feel encouraged today.
Trish
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